


Something akin to hope

by kenkatsuki



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Drug Abuse, M/M, Smoking, Underage Drinking, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-04
Updated: 2017-03-04
Packaged: 2018-09-28 06:04:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,534
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10075574
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kenkatsuki/pseuds/kenkatsuki
Summary: There was something wonderfully fascinating about this boy, from his small stature to his spiked up brown hair spotting a dyed blonde streak across his forehead to the intent look on his face, entirely focused on Ryuu and only Ryuu.And for the first time in a very long time, something akin to hope dared to flutter in Ryuu's chest.





	

Saeko did everything possible to keep them both alive, her brother safe and sound, fed and with a roof over his head. Since their parents died years ago and they had no relatives to take care of them, it became Saeko's responsibility to look after Ryuu. 

Saeko was still underage so looking for a job that paid well enough for them both to live on it proved to be increasingly difficult.

Ryuu was no idiot, he saw how much his nee-san put onto herself, what heavy a burden she carried without complaining once, how she kept smiling for her little brother even when she was so exhausted she could barely stand.  
Something deep inside him shattered when he started noticing the pain in her expression, despite how well she'd learned to cover it up with smiles whenever her little brother looked to her. He knew her too well to be deceived by her attempt to keep him from worrying.  
It was eating him up. Knowing what a burden he was , how much his kind and beautiful nee-san overworked herself just to keep him warm and safe.

Despite his complaints to quit school to be able to work himself and support her financially, she insisted that he stayed in school and studied hard so he wouldn't throw away his chance on a good future when she had already thrown away her own one for him.  
He felt so incredibly useless and was disgusted with his own helplessness.

While his sister overworked herself he had to attend classes he had no interest listening to, attending day for day a building full of superficial stuck-ups who only cared about themselves. 

It all made him so sick.

Ryuu had always been rather impulsive and the pent-up unease and flaring anger inside of him was only fueled by everyone around him. 

And one day it all started to become too much.  
He got into fights, provoked upper classmen and jumped head-first into confrontations. 

Of course it didn't slip Saeko's notice when he returned home with a bruised eye and bloody nose and after several attempts of Ryuu to convince her he'd walked against a wall or fallen down the stairs -that she didn't believe for a second- she gave up on trying to get the truth out of him and just gently slapped his cheek and told him to be cautious. 

The Tanakas were naturally energetic people and knowing the restless impulsive energy of her brother couldn't be tamed by anyone, she knew better than to demand he stopped picking fights.  
She also knew that Ryuu was one of the kindest souls she'd ever met and if he decided to punch someone they probably deserved it. 

But it didn't take her fear of him getting hurt.  
Rage can blind you and make you do very stupid things like rushing outnumbered into something and getting badly hurt. But all she could do was wait for him at home praying for her brother to return home safely. 

Ryuu was so afraid of being a burden and a pushover who couldn't do anything at all when his nee-san almost worked herself to death because she wanted him to be happy and have everything he wanted but the only thing he ever truly wanted was for his sister to be safe and to smile that beautiful teeth-showing grin she used to wear all the time when they were still small brats. 

He had always admired his big sis so much, had always tried to be like her and when he discovered what she did to deserve the money to keep them both alive, he started to hate and blame himself because if he hadn't been there as a burden, a small kid who could do nothing more than watch his sister look more and more exhausted with the days gone by, she wouldn't have had to lose this beautiful glint in her eyes.

His sister would never have accepted this job that literally dragged all joy and life force out of her with every day she continued to keep this job. For his sake. So he'd be fed and dressed properly for all seasons.  
He hated himself so much, a destructive rage tearing him up from inside out and he had no escape from his mind where he destroyed himself with those thoughts and despise he kept pointed at himself like a dagger.  
In school there was heard the rumour that Tanaka Ryuunosuke's big Sister was a prostitute and everyone seemed to tear their mouths speculating whether they should trust such dirty information.

Many who'd known her from when she used to pick up her little brother from school knew what a beautiful and joyful woman she was and refused to believe such horrible rumours.

But they kept spreading like wildfire and Ryuu succeeded most of the time ignoring nasty comments; distracting himself and trying to shut out all those voices that kept getting louder and louder every passing second.

Until one day he heard someone call her names like a slut, a whore, a dirty woman who probably enjoyed it so much getting payment for something she'd probably do even for free. They mockingly suggested inviting her over to test out just how good she could be.

Ryuu saw red, red, red. A blinding rage so poisounous and awful, his eyes glistened with vicious intent and an unleashed fire that could no longer be held on a leash.

So he snapped. 

He couldn't remember clearly how he had ended up with bruised knuckles and dried up blood leaving a dark trace on his clothes. He remembered thinking that nee-san would probably get angry with him for ruining his good school-clothes.

But at that moment he couldn't give the smallest shit because the rage that stormed so uncontrollably inside his chest didn't want to be calmed down and he had felt somewhat of a relief letting all that pent-up frustration out on someone. 

His ire had clouded his vision so badly he didn't even remember punching the wall in an attempt to beat up everything that'd dare cross his path when he felt so good like he hadnt in a long time, violence fueling his rage. 

Until someone had grabbed both of his wrists in an iron-grip and forced Ryuu to look at them.  
He slowly recovered his senses and bit by bit the rage started leaving his vision and he could see clearer again.

The first thing he noticed after his senses fully returned was the unmistakably sickly sweet irony smell of blood, and crossing his periphery he spotted a slumped body leaning against the wall, no sign of movement, just an awful amount of blood covering his face and dripping into a crimson-red puddle onto the floor around him. 

Ryuu couldn't help the urge to gag and weakly fell to his knees, emptying his stomach-contents when the realization hit that he had done that.

He was capable of hurting a human being to that extent.  
And he had even enjoyed it. He had finally been able to let out some of that sickness howling hollowly inside of him. 

He was afraid. So afraid. Of himself, of what he had done and how he would be able to live with himself after this. What the consequences would be and how he could go on normally because he knew he couldn't, wouldn't ever be able to enjoy a good life ever again when he had already seen so much misery.

'What a crappy life', he thought, and a rough humourless chuckle rose up his throat, not even in the slightest resembling a normal sound, he never knew he was capable of making noises like that. 

It scared him and he feared his sanity wouldnt last any longer if things would keep going on like this.

But as hot tears tried to free themselves from his sore eyes, his face was suddenly being cupped roughly but not unkindly by two small hands and he was forced to look up at the person, that he realized had to be the one to stop him from going any further over the edge and returned him to his senses.

When his gaze went up to the stranger's eyes he was met by a pair of beautifully melten golden-brown eyes that stared at him so intently he was tempted to look away but his gaze was still focused on the boy before him, unable to break contact with those strong eyes that seemed to be full of hot energy and a strength radiating from him which didn't come from his build, because this guy was actally very small, but his aura practically demanded for everyone to look at him.  
He seemed to shine so brightly it almost hurt, but you just couldn't help but keep looking at him.

There was something wonderfully fascinating about this boy, from his small stature to his spiked up brown hair spotting a dyed blonde streak across his forehead to the intent look on his face, entirely focused on Ryuu and only Ryuu. 

And for the first time in a very long time, something akin to hope dared to flutter in Ryuu's chest.


End file.
